


Vox Machina’s Meme Dream Team

by kopycat_101



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: AU?, Biphobia, Bisexual Character, Bisexual Female Character, Bisexual Male Character, Bisexuality, Brother-Sister Relationships, Canon Bisexual Character, Canon Gay Character, Canon Lesbian Character, Canon Lesbian Relationship, Coming Out, F/F, Femslash, Found Family, Gilmore and Allura are ultimate mlm/wlw solidarity and I love them, Homophobia, Misogyny, Other, Pansexual Character, Vex and Vax are both the ultimate twins and ultimate bi solidarity, chat fic, he's promptly banished to the Shadow Realm, this fic is coming out swinging strong w/ dropkicking homophobes and bringing in bi solidarity, those tags are just bc of tibs but dw the rest of the fic is swaggy, tiberius is only mentioned and never shows up, wlw
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-01-05
Updated: 2020-02-29
Packaged: 2021-02-27 12:15:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,709
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22126978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kopycat_101/pseuds/kopycat_101
Summary: Scatman: sometimes thats just how this bitch of a world isPersees All: I can’t believe half our friend group are just figments of imagination and don’t exist.Persees All: Three whole bis and a pan.Grog: LOLKiki’s Gardening Service: That sounds like the start of a bar joke.Or, the fic where Vox Machina has a group chat. The logistics? Who knows. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Relationships: Kima/Allura Vysoren, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Shaun Gilmore & Allura Vysoren
Comments: 18
Kudos: 70





	1. Bi Solidarity

**Author's Note:**

> I adore Critical Role, but have never actually written a CR fic before in my entire life bc of both a lack of time and attention span...Please take my humble offering of a dumbass chat fic...

< **Vox Machina’s Meme Dream Team Chat** >

**Vex’ed** has kicked **Dibs on Tibs** from the chat!

Vex’ed: _Begone, thot_.

Vax’ildang: oofa doofa;;

Vex’ed: And good fucking riddance.

Vax’ildang: yeaaaah uh;;

Vax’ildang: we just gon ignore the fact that Tibs was a shit person orrrrr;;;;;

Persees All: Sadly, yes.

Scatman: p much.

Kiki’s Gardening Service: I’m not angry, just disappointed…

Vex’ed: Well, I’ll be angry enough 4 the both of us, darling.

Persees All: Noted.

Grog: YEAH

Kiki’s Gardening Service: Understandable, have a nice day,,,

Grog:

Grog: WHAT R WE ANGRY BOUT AGIN

Scatman: alkfdsja

Vax’ildang: ghghgh

Scatman: Grog, buddy, pal

Vax’ildang: my dude;;;

Grog: WHAT

< **Saerenbae** is now online! >

Saerenbae: Hey guys!

Grog: !

Grog: PIKE!

Scatman: pike!! ur back!!

Vax’ildan: yo

Saerenbae: Why was Tibs kicked from the chat?

Saerenbae: I know I haven’t been on much, but…

Vex’ed: Well, turned out he was a jackass!!!

Saerenbae: Did something happen?

Saerenbae: Oof.

Vex’ed: Surprise surprise!!!

Kiki’s Gardening Service: RIP.

Saerenbae: Please elaborate.

Vax’ildang: Well, remember Allura?

Saerenbae: How could I forget her? She’s super sweet! :)

Kiki’s Gardening Service: She really is :)

Vax’ildang: Turns out she’s got an uhhhh Past w/ Kima

Vax’ildang: Tibs was tryin 2 get a double date 4 him and Grog w/ Allura and Kima

Vex’ed: Allura flat out said Kima was a lesbian

Saerenbae: !! Wow plot twist!

Vax’ildang: lmao

Scatman: lolol

Vex’ed: To like, no one ever.

Persees All: It was fairly obvious Kima was a lesbian.

Grog: NOT TO ME

Kiki’s Gardening Service: riperoni

Scatman: srry, bud

Scatman: sometimes thats just how it b

Grog: STILL DONT GET IT BUT OK

Saerenbae: Cool cool cool

Saerenbae: But then…?

Vax’ildang: But wait! There’s more!

Vax’ildang: So then Tibs asks how Allura knows

Vax’ildang: still trying 2 get that date

Vex’ed: More like he Demanded.

Vax’ildang: right

Saerenbae: o o f

Vax’ildang: then Allura tries to say its bc theyve been “best friends for a long time”

Vax’ildang: but Tibs is Not Buying It

Saerenbae: I

Saerenbae: I think I know where this goes and I’m not liking it

Vex’ed: Great!! Bc we didn’t either while it was happening!!

Vax’ildang: so then uuuuuuh Allura drops the Big Reveal

Vax’ildang: that her and Kima dated in the past

Vex’ed: and then Tib acted like a jackass about it!!!

Vax’ildang: but assures that they’re not a Thing anymore

Vax’ildang: yeah

Saerenbae: oh no

Vex’ed: Tib gets butthurt abt their past relationship

Vex’ed: and then starts RANTING abt how Allura must be LYING

Vex’ed: bc she kept flirting back w/ him, so she CAN’T be a lesbian

Saerenbae: oh nooooo

Persees All: Cue nearly all of us giving massive eye-rolls in the bg.

Vax’ildang: honestly;;

Vex’ed: Alluras just like

Vex’ed: “well, I am bisexual so”

Vex’ed: then tib promptly loses his shit AGAIN

Saerenbae: !!!!

Saerenbae: OH NO

Scatman: [kool aid man voice] OH YEAH

Persees All: It was disturbingly like watching a child throw a tantrum.

Kiki’s Delivery Service: Accurate…

Vax’ildang: scanlan not now;;

Scatman: ok fair

Vex’ed: tib starts acting like a manchild

Vex’ed: says some shit like

Vex’ed: “YOU CANT BE BISEXUAL!! YOU LIKE ME!!”

Saerenbae: OH NOOOOO

Vax’ildang: he p much goes on about how bi ppl don’t exist

Vax’ildang: and lowkey slutshames allura 4 it

Saerenbae: Y I K E S

Vex’ed: AND THEN

Vex’ed: me and bro point out WE’RE bi

Vex’ed: and the fucker has the AUDACITY to ROLL HIS EYES

Vex’ed: like “yes, plz dont remind me, i can only watch u 2 pretend ur gay 4 so long”

Saerenbae: N O

Vex’ed: YES

Vax’ildang: “pretend ur gay” as if;; that’s a thing u can pretend at;;

Saerenbae: THATS A BIG YIKES YALL!!!

Persees All: The twins start to go off on Tiberius, and poor Allura is just frozen

Persees All: looking utterly shocked and terrified.

Vax’ildang: sis is .5 secs away from punching tib in the face

Vex’ed: oh, dont pretend like u didnt want 2 punch him 2!!!

Vax’ildang: i mean. tru

Kiki’s Gardening Service: It all turned into a Huge Mess very quickly.

Saerenbae: Sounds like it!!

Scatman: i tell grog to grab tib so he doesnt actually hit any1

Persees All: Me and Keyleth stand in front of Allura to shield her.

Persees All: Tiberius is then promptly ejected into the fucking sun where he belongs.

Vex’ed: GOD, I WISH!!!!

Vax’ildang: grog coming in with the clutch, just fuckin. hauling tibs away like a sack of potatoes.

Scatman: tbh grog rlly was the MVP there

Saerenbae: !! Good job, Grog!!

Grog: THNX

Grog: TIBS TRIED 2 GET OUTTA MY GRIP BUT HES A WIMP LOL

Vax’ildang: and now Tib is banished to the shadow realm

Vax’ildang: where asshole het-straights belong

Vex’ed: GOOD! FUCKING! RIDDANCE!

Scatman: I’ll drink to that!

Persees All: Mood.

Vax’ildang: so uhhhh yeah;;;

Vax’ildang: thats what was up;;

Saerenbae: Gosh, a lot happened while I was gone!!

Saerenbae: But I’m glad no one got hurt!

Persees All: I still find it astounding that Tiberius doesn’t think bisexual people exist.

Vax’ildang: tbh im not

Vex’ed: I guess bi ppl are a myth!! Just fucking unicorns!!

Vax’ildang: tibs was giving me Bad Vibes for a While now

Vax’ildang: i just chalked it up to me being paranoid

Kiki’s Gardening Service: You could tell???

Vax’ildang: yeah

Persees All: It’s not paranoia if they’re really out to get you.

Vax’ildang: tru

Scatman: tru

Vex’ed: this is why I don’t trust easy tbh :/

Persees All: Mood.

Vax’ildang: same sis, same

Scatman: oh worm?

Kiki’s Gardening Service: Valid.

Saerenbae: I’m really sorry to hear that :(

Vax’ildang: thnx Pike

Vex’ed: Its not your fault, darling

Scatman: sometimes thats just how this bitch of a world is

Persees All: I can’t believe half our friend group are just figments of imagination and don’t exist.

Persees All: Three whole bis and a pan.

Vex’ed: K;LASDKJ

Vax’ildang: ghghgh

Scatman: askljkfa

Grog: LOL

Kiki’s Gardening Service: That sounds like the start of a bar joke.

Grog: BUT UR ALL REAL THO

Vax’ildang: ;;;

Vex’ed: Awww, Grog! :’’’)

Scatman: thnx buddy! ;0

Saerenbae: Yes!!

Saerenbae: You’re all real!! And Valid!!

Kiki’s Gardening Service: Bless!

Vex’ed: !!!!

Vax’ildang: hhhh;;

Vex’ed: We are!!

Scatman: i feel so #blessed

Persees All: Mood.

Vax’ildang: im gon cry yall;;;

Vex’ed: ok ok, but!

Vex’ed: Percy, who’s the 3rd bi???

Persees All: Hm?

Vex’ed: u mentioned 3 bis

Vax’ildang: !

Vex’ed: why haven’t I heard of this before??

Persees All: Oh, well

Persees All: Me, obviously.

< **The VV Sibs Shitshow Chat** >

V3X: ALKSDFJKALSD

v4x: GHGHGHGH

V3X: DID HE J SUT

v4x: HE SURE DID

V3X: w HAT THE F UCK BRO

v4x: I K NO!!!

V3X: AAAAAHHHH

v4x: AAAAAAA

< **Vox Machina’s Meme Dream Team Chat** >

Scatman: wait WHAT

Persees All: Hm?

Scatman: srsly???? ur bi???

Persees All: Yes?

Saerenbae: !!

Scatman: PLOT TWIST OF THE CENTURY H OLY SHIT

Kiki’s Gardening Service: Oh!

Kiki’s Gardening Service: Nice!

Persees All: I thought it was obvious??

Saerenbae: Thank you for telling us, Percy!!

Saerenbae: That’s awfully brave of you! :)

Grog: COOL I GUESS

Kiki’s Gardening Service: Yeah! Especially after today :(((

Persees All: Today’s events made me realize the importance of being yourself in the face of other’s bullfuckery.

Persees All: Thus the Bi Solidarity.

Grog: IF PPL SAY U DONT EXIST ILL HIT EM 4 U

Saerenbae: Yeah!

Persees All:

Persees All: Thanks, Grog, Pike.

< **The VV Sibs Shitshow Chat** >

V3X: I NEVER GOT BI VIBES FROM HIM H OLY SHIT

V3X: WHOODA THUNK

v4x: I MEAN I SORTA DID??

v4x: BUT I JUST THOUGHT I WAS FUCKIG HALLUCINATING THEM??

V3X: OH MY GOD

V3X: YOU DISASTER BI

v4x: I KNOW!!

v4x: HEY UR A DISASTER BI 2!!

V3X: I KNOW!!

v4x: AAAAAA

V3X: AAHHHH

< **Vox Machina’s Meme Dream Team Chat** >

Scatman: man, vex n vax sure are quiet rn

Scatman: considering a new bi was revealed

Saerenbae: True. Where are they??

Persees All: Plz don’t say it like I’m a new DLC character for Smash.

Grog: LOL

Kiki’s Gardening Service: Pfffff

Vax’ildang: GHGHGHHHHHH

Vex’ed: AKLDFJAKLSJ

Saerenbae: There they are!!

Scatman: right on time

Vax’ildang: SHUT U P SCANDLAN

Vex’ed: S H U NT

Persees All: Well, I’m glad I didn’t accidentally kill the twins…

Scatman: were u 2 havin a private freakout or what lol

Vax’ildang: N O

Vex’ed: we were CELEBRATING

Vex’ed: I cant believe we had another bi in our midst!!!

Vax’ildang: yeah Freddie!! we could’ve been Bi Solidarity forever ago!!

Persees All: Well, I’ve only known for a few months now.

Vax’ildang: oh ok

Scatman: NOICE

Vax’ildang: dw ur still valid

Vex’ed: Don’t worry, darling, we understand!

Scatman: hit me w that gay shit yall

Scatman: good shit good shit

Grog: LOL

Vax’ildang: ghghgh

Vex’ed: aklsdjkal

Persees All: That fits way too well with your username…

Kiki’s Gardening Service: Tbh

Saerenbae: Tbh

Vax’ildang: tbh

Vex’ed: tbh

Scatman: lmao thats the point

Kiki’s Gardening Service: Cursed.

Grog: I DONT GET IT

Scatman:

Saerenbae: Oh, buddy!!

Vax’ildang: its ok, grog

Persees All: It’s a pun.

Grog: IS IT

Scatman: uhhhh yea dude

Grog: ON WHAT

Scatman: poop

Grog: OHHHHH

Vax’ildang: ghghgh

Kiki’s Gardening Service: aklsdfj

Persees All: Naturally.

Grog: LOL NICE

Saerenbae: Grog, you’re so pure! :’)

Kiki’s Gardening Service: He is!

Scatman: weirdly yea

Persees All: Surprisingly enough.

Grog: RLLY

Saerenbae: Of course, buddy!!

Grog: :D

Vax’ildang: 2 pure??

Vex’ed: 2 pure

Saerenbae: ! :D

Scatman: 2 pure

Kiki’s Gardening Service: Too pure!

Persees All: Too pure.

Grog: OH PIKEEEE!!

Saerenbae: Oh Grogggg!!

Grog: <333

Saerenbae: <333333!

Vax’ildang: #Blessed

Scatman: #bless

Vex’ed: bless

Kiki’s Gardening Service: Bless!

Persees All: Bless.

Scatman: grog the tru MVP

Saerenbae: He really is!

Grog: THNX

Kiki’s Gardening Service: I can’t believe we went from flaming fury to all this feels good.

Vax’ildang: tbh

Vex’ed: tbh

Persees All: Tbh.

Scatman: tbh

Saerenbae: I can!

Persees All: It’s pretty impressive.

Vax’ildang: i love,,, this fuking family,,,

Vex’ed: oh mood?

Scatman: worm

Saerenbae: Same!

Kiki’s Gardening Service: Mood!

Persees All: Same.

Grog: YEAH

Scatman: Vox Machina? more like Vox Familia ayyyyyy

Kiki’s Gardening Service: alskdfjla

Vax’ildang: ghghghg

Vex’ed: akldsjal

Saerenbae: lol

Persees All: That was actually clever.

Persees All: Bravo.

Scatman: I try

Grog: I STILL DONT GET IT

Saerenbae:

Scatman:

Vax’ildang: alkjsdf

Vex’ed: akldj

Kiki’s Gardening Service: alskdfjla

Kiki’s Gardening Service: It’s ok, Grog.

Persees All: It means we’re a family, Grog.

Grog: OH

Grog: I KNEW THT THO

Scatman: did u?

Grog: WEVE ALWAYS BEEN A FAMILY

Saerenbae: !!

Vax’ildang: ;;;

Kiki’s Gardening Service: Awww

Vex’ed: ,,,

Saerenbae: BUDDYYYYY

Persees All: That’s quite sweet, Grog.

Grog: I MEAN ITS TRU

Vax’ildang: u rite

Vex’ed: tbh

Scatman: that it is grog

Scatman: that it is


	2. Wlwhat

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finally a second chapter! Couldn't think up of much content until I realized I could expand on Kima and Allura's backstory, and then my brain went into maximum overdrive.
> 
> Also, Gilmore is here! He's always a delight, and an amazing friend to boot. Love 'im.
> 
> Chat notes:  
> Allura: Allie  
> Ki: Kima

< **Tired n Gay Chat** >

Allie: Every day, I wonder why the Gods must test my fucking patience…

Ki: Big Mood.

Ki: But also

Ki: You okay?

Allie: Nope.

Ki:

Allie: Not even remotely.

Ki: You uhhhh wanna talk abt it?

Allie: Maybe…?

Ki: I’m here for u if u want to

Ki: Or not

Ki: Whatev makes u feel better

Allie: Thanks, Kima, just…

Allie: I need a minute to gather my thoughts.

Ki: kk take ur time

Allie:

Allie: Ok so

Allie: This is a long story so buckle the Fuck up.

Ki: Ho damn ok

Allie: Why must straight men Be Like That? Firstly.

Ki: Fuck if I kno

Ki: Men are garbage lmao

Allie: Alright cool cool cool

Allie: Also valid.

Ki: But go on?

Allie: So uhhhh

Allie: Just had a man act like a fucking toddler at me earlier today

Allie: Over me not wanting to date him

Ki: W HAT

Ki: WTF

Ki: ILL KILL HIM

Ki: DONT THINK I WONT

Ki: FUCKER

Ki: P UT EM UP

Allie: So you uh

Allie: You remember Tiberius?

Ki: THE FUCKING _SCALIE_?????

Allie: klajsdlka

Allie: Ok but is he _really_ a scalie if he’s actually part dragon?

Ki: DOESNT FUCKING MATTER

Ki: ALLIE

Ki: W HAT FUCKING BULLSHIT

Allie: Kima

Ki: DIS BITCH

Allie: _Kima_

Ki: IMMA KILL HIM???

Ki: STR8 UP??

Allie:

Allie: You don’t do anything straight ever, though?

Ki: ALKDSFJL

Ki: fair tho

Allie: Ok so

Allie: Tibs was trying to ask me out, but like, as a double date??

Ki: Fucking weird

Allie: Yeah.

Allie: He wanted to go out with me, but also uh

Allie: Wanted me to bring you along to be Grog’s date?

Ki: w HAT

Ki: DIS BITCH

Ki: THOT I WAS STR8???

Allie: Yeah lol I know.

Ki: IM GOING FUCKING FERAL

Ki: AKLSFJDL

Allie: I told him you were a lesbian, and then he just

Allie: Looks at me

Allie: And asks how I would know.

Ki:

Ki: oh FUCK no

Ki: I am NOT liking where thats going.

Allie: Great! Because I didn’t either!! While it was happening!!!

Ki: alksdja

Ki: Oh Gods Allie Im

Ki: So sorry???

Ki: Fuck

Allie: Its

Allie: Well, not exactly Fine

Allie: But I got through it…

Ki: YOU DIDNT HAVE TO THO LIKE

Ki: WTF

Allie: So, long story short

Allie: Scalie McGee decided to Go Off on me after I told him we were exes, that’s how I know you’re a lesbian. He then proceeds to throw a Fit bc I couldn’t be a lesbian, I was flirting back, and just.

Allie: Sigh.

Ki: FUCKING JACKASS??? WTF???

Ki: BI PPL EXIST??

Allie: Oh believe me, things got worse after that.

Ki: S HIT

Ki: ALLIE U OK???

Ki: DID HE HURT U???

Allie: No, I’m fine.

Ki: ?!?!?!?

Allie: Grog bodily restrained him.

Ki: WELL AT LEAST HES GOOD 4 SOMETHING

Ki: SHIT

Allie: Anyways, the rest of Vox Machina ripped him a new one, and I’m just

Allie: Very glad they were there

Ki: SHIT NO KIDDING

Ki: FUCK

Ki: I WISH I WOULDVE BEEN THERE??

Ki: TO FUCKING DEFEND U AT LEAST

Ki: MAYBE FIGHT THAT ASSHOLE

Ki: PLATINUM FUCKING DRAGON, THATS SO SHITTY

Allie: Yeaaaaaah

Allie: This is why I don’t trust easy…

Ki: NO FUCKING KIDDING, YEESH

Allie: Also

Allie: Why I don’t trust straight men.

Ki: DOUBLE YIKES

Ki: AND VALID

Allie: Men are Cancelled for the foreseeable future :/

Ki: Theyre ALWAYS Cancelled tho

Ki: In Kima Land

Allie: alksdjakl

Allie: Valid tho

Ki: u need anything rn??

Ki: Sounds like u had a rough day

Allie: I’m fine, just

Allie: Tired.

Ki: No kidding

Allie: Mmmmaybe some ice cream and pizza would make me feel better??

Ki: dw omw

Allie: alkdsja

Ki: 10 mins w/ a hot n ready and a tub of cookie dough

Allie: Kima;;;

Allie: You dont have to;;;

Ki: 2 late binch

Ki: already put some pants on

Allie: akldjal

Ki: cant stop me now

Allie:

Allie: You’re an All Star, Kima.

Allie: I really need this after today.

Ki: np np

Ki: ppl b exhausting

Ki: Esp when theyre homophobic pieces of shit

Ki: I gotcha back fam

Allie: You’re an angel oh my gosh

Ki: u kno it babe lmao

Allie: ;v;

Allie: Thank youuuuu <3

Ki: b there in 10

Allie: Ok, I’ll be ready!!

Ki: cya <3

Allie: <3

< Allura has started messaging Gilmore! >

Gilmore: !

Gilmore: Allura, darling! <3

Gilmore: To what do I owe the pleasure?

Allura: alksjdlkas

Allura: GIL HELP

Gilmore: ?

Allura: IM JUST

Allura: IM SO GAY???

Gilmore: Same though?

Allura: LAKSJFDKL

Allura: GIL

Gilmore: Is there anything else, or did you just need to dramatically declare your own homosexuality…?

Allura: GIL PLZ

Gilmore: Lmao

Gilmore: Is it Kima again?

Allura: LAKJSDLK

Allura: DON’T CALL ME OUT LIKE THIS

Gilmore: Gottem.

Allura: I HATE YOU

Gilmore: Lies.

Gilmore: You love me, darling.

Gilmore: Or else you would have never made me your confidant.

Allura: Listen

Allura: I didn’t exactly have much of a choice…

Gilmore: You make it sound like I’ve held you at gunpoint.

Allura: Didn’t you?

Gilmore: Not literally.

Allura: Ok but _metaphorically_.

Gilmore:

Gilmore: I mean.

Allura: akldfjal

Allura: I hate this.

Gilmore: Hush.

Gilmore: You love me ;)

Allura: Cursed.

Allura: But also

Allura: It’s not like I can exactly go to anyone else abt this???

Allura: Who am I supposed to go to, KIMA?

Gilmore: Well, that would certainly solve your pining.

Allura: aklsja

Allura: Fuck off????

Gilmore: Your disaster bisexual tendencies aside…

Allura: Don’t call me out like this,,,

Gilmore: Spill.

Allura:

Allura: I think I’ve officially fallen back in love with her.

Gilmore: :0000000

Gilmore: Now THAT’S a story!

Gilmore: Gimme those deets girl!

Allura: Ok so

Allura: Long story

Gilmore: I’ve got time, dear.

Allura: So uh

Allura: Have you heard abt that…Fuckshit…with Tibs?

Gilmore: From Vax’ildan, yes.

Allura: Shit, ok, that was fast.

Gilmore: I’ve always got my pulse on the gossip, you know.

Allura: But also, ofc you know this from Vax

Allura: lol gay

Gilmore: alksdjkal

Gilmore: Don’t call me out like this.

Allura: Too late.

Gilmore: Anyways, yes, I know.

Allura: Don’t change the subject??

Gilmore: Aren’t you changing the subject right now?

Allura:

Allura: Touché

Allura: So That went down

Allura: I felt very shitty afterwards

Gilmore: Naturally!

Gilmore: I am so sorry, by the way!

Gilmore: It sounds awful :(

Allura: Yeah well…

Allura: It happened.

Gilmore: A tragedy that it did!

Allura: tbh

Allura: So, I felt terrible for the day.

Allura: And told Kima

Allura: She flipped

Gilmore: Naturally.

Allura: I told her a pizza and ice cream would be nice and she just?

Allura: came over and brought me them?

Gilmore: Aw, that’s so sweet!

Allura: I know!

Allura: And we spent all night eating and watching shitty movies and

Allura: it was amazing

Allura: And at some point I hugged her and cried and she held me and I felt so protected, you know?

Allura: In her arms

Allura: She was super sweet and told me I was worth more than my past or what stupid asshole thought of me

Allura: I looked down at her and her smile was just. So soft?

Allura: And I swear, I was a good two seconds away from just

Allura: Kissing her

Gilmore: !!!

Gilmore: DID YOU?

Allura: NO

Allura: I mean I thought abt it but

Gilmore: Oh, booooo.

Allura: But I didn’t want to freak her out

Allura: Or make a mistake

Allura: Or at least ANOTHER one

Allura: And make her hate me…

Gilmore: Allura.

Gilmore: Kima doesn’t hate you.

Allura: I know, just

Allura: I don’t want to end up leading her on

Allura: And breaking her heart

Allura: We’ve been separated for a while now, Gilmore

Allura: I don’t want to drag her back in if she doesn’t want to date me again.

Allura: What if I just wanted to kiss her bc I was at such a low point?

Allura: Like

Allura: Like she was just a rebound?

Allura: Kima is way more than that to me!

Gilmore: First of all,

Gilmore: damn girl, calm down?

Allura: aklsdjlfka

Allura: Valid?

Gilmore: Secondly,

Gilmore: Kima means a lot to you, you know that.

Allura: But what if…

Gilmore: Hell, everyone knows it.

Allura:

Gilmore: And I mean everyone, darling.

Gilmore: Even Kima knows it.

Allura: Lies and slander

Allura: but ok

Gilmore: Third,

Gilmore: Taking someone in a rebound is more classically done when you’ve actually dated and broken up with someone.

Gilmore: You’ve done neither.

Allura: Alright, true?

Gilmore: Listen, Allura.

Gilmore: You care about Kima dearly.

Gilmore: It’s very apparent, or else you wouldn’t be so worried about her.

Allura: Well, yes…?

Gilmore: It’s also very apparent that Kima cares for YOU deeply.

Gilmore: She didn’t hate you after you broke up, and she won’t hate you if you ask for another chance.

Gilmore: But you’ll never know if you never actually try.

Allura:

Gilmore: Communication is key, dear.

Gilmore: No relationship can work without it.

Allura: But…

Gilmore: No buts!

Allura: What if I hurt her?

Allura: Just by asking?

Gilmore: There’s always the chance that you can hurt her, but there’s always the chance that whenever we open our mouths we can say something to hurt the ones we love.

Gilmore: What’s important is trying your best to express yourself so that the other person understands.

Gilmore: Just try talking to her, alright?

Allura: What if it gets…awkward?

Gilmore: Well, then just admit that it’s awkward!

Gilmore: Be upfront about it!

Gilmore: Own it!

Gilmore: Matters of the heart are complicated enough without us bumbling around and trying to sabotage ourselves!

Gilmore: So work it, girl!

Gilmore: You’ll never know if you don’t try!

Allura:

Allura: You’re right.

Allura: If I don’t do anything…I’ll just live in regret, right?

Gilmore: Exactly!

Gilmore: Life’s too short, babe!

Gilmore: You’re strong and independent! You can do this!

Gilmore: [string of clap emojis]

Allura: alskdjal

Allura: ok

Allura: Thanks for the pep talk, Gil :’)

Gilmore: Oh, it’s nothing, darling!

Gilmore: Glad to help a friend.

Allura: Still, I’m super grateful!

Allura: Maybe I can bake you something?

Gilmore: I mean, I’m trying a new diet, so I really shouldn’t…

Allura: Gil >:(

Gilmore: But my heart and body and taste buds say Hell Yes.

Allura: !

Allura: That’s the spirit! :)

Gilmore: Allura, darling, your cooking is really too good to pass up.

Gilmore: It’s Top Tier.

Gilmore: Five stars.

Gilmore: 10/10

Allura: aklsdfjfal

Gilmore: Two thumbs up.

Gilmore: A++

Allura: Oh hush

Allura: You charmer

Gilmore: ;)

Gilmore: Does this mean you’ll add in a little extra?

Allura: Didn’t you say you were trying to cut back?

Gilmore: Yes, but it would be a crime if I didn’t get something from you.

Gilmore: And you would frustrate yourself if you didn’t go all-out.

Allura: True, true.

Allura: Alright, I’ll make you cheesecake, but it’s triple-chocolate instead of just chocolate drizzle.

Gilmore: !!!!

Gilmore: YES

Allura: I spoil you too much.

Gilmore: YOU DO

Gilmore: BUT I’M NOT COMPLAINING

Allura: aklsjfdlak

Allura: Thanks again for hearing me out

Allura: ;w;

Gilmore: Of course!

Gilmore: It’s always a pleasure to help!

Allura: I’m gonna go make that cheesecake and brainstorm how I’m gonna talk to Kima…

Gilmore: It’ll go fine! I believe in you!

Allura: Thank.

Gilmore: Go! [clap emoji] Get! [clap emoji] Your! [clap emoji] Girl! [clap emoji]

Allura: alksjdfl

Allura: Bye Gil

Gilmore: Good luck!

Allura: Thanks, I’ll need it :’)

Gilmore: You won’t ;)

Allura: Sounds fake but ok

Gilmore: Just go already lmao

Gilmore: Be free, you disaster bisexual.

Allura: Will do.

Allura: <3

Gilmore: <3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I guess I just really love writing chapters in chat fics where one character gives another solid life/relationship advice?? Saying that communication in relationships is key?? I've done this with 2BA Master Chat, and I've done it here. Huh.
> 
> Next chapter will include Vox Machina characters again. I just really love the side characters. Gay icons.

**Author's Note:**

> Hopefully the chat names are all recognizeable, but here's still a dandy list!
> 
> Vax= Vax'ildang, v4x  
> Vex= Vex'ed, V3X  
> Percy= Persees All  
> Scanlan= Scatman  
> Keyleth= Kiki's Gardening Service  
> Pike= Saerenbae  
> Grog= Grog


End file.
